I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
