Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
