dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize