Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
