Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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