Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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