Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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