i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
