Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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