He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
