I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
