It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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