I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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