Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize