we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Say something about gay babies.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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