i think i have herpe
just one?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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