I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
