If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
