Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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