Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
