the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize