So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
