Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I sprained my soul last night
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
