u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Actions speak louder than pants.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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