so explain again why im purple
no
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize