you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
