Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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