Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
