is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
