So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
