The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
