is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
