Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
