At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
