Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am midnight drunk by noon
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
