just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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