I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
