good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
