i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
