yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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