lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize