in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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