Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
