So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
