Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
