Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize