My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
