why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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