you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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