My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
