I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
