Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
