ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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