I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
