omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize