MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
