I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize