So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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