omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
