watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this just has baby written all over it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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