she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
