Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize