I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
