this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
