Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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