Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
