I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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