He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
