I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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