distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
