ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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