Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just pynch a tree in the face
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
