The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The adults are the big ones right?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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