At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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