Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
