I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize