I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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