please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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