I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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